How to chose the perfect car

Photo: Texa

If you have liked cars, even a teeny tiny bit at one point in your life, you’ve probably thought a supercar was cool. It may have been because it was the most performant, exhuberant or luxurious vehicle of its time, and as the best of its time, it was desirable.

Well my friend, I’m here to tell you that you were wrong. Supercars suck. And not only supercars suck, but timeless classics do too.

That’s right, you are a fool for wanting to buy this 1968 Alpine A110 or this brand new Rolls Cullinam.

“But the Alpine is a milestone of the rallye history! Its design is timeless! The Cullinam is the most luxurious car ever, why wouldn’t I want one?”

Wouldn’t you fear to scrap that paintjob?
Photo: Texa

Well, first of all, you can’t afford those and neither can I. But if you could, how comfortable would you be driving a rare piece of history through the streets of Paris? Would you enjoy being taken over by a Civic Type R while driving a Countach? Would you park your 400 000€ SUV in the street (assuming you have no chauffeur who’d guard it to fend off pedestrians)?

No you wouldn’t, or it would come at a great cost, be it money wise or psychological (assuming you aren’t a sociopath billionnaire). And if you try, that means you’ve fallen victim of the marketing evil geniuses. Their job is to make you chose a car based on subjective criteria, such as “it’s James Bond’s car”, social status, “heritage” or the number of new shiny trinkets in them.

A car is, first and foremost, a means of transportation. It can, and should, also be fun, beautiful and comfortable, but do not ever forget that its job is to get your butt moving from one point to the next (potentially producing a satisfying amount of Gs while doing so). Therefore, when choosing a ride, the criteria you should focus on are the following:

  • Practicality
  • Budget
  • Reliability
  • Stupid grin potential
This guy gets it
Photo: Texa

Don’t be a fool, don’t think everyday about throwing away your perfectly capable vehicle for the Aston Matrin Vantage that haunts your dreams. Hoon your reasonably fun, paid-for ride everyday, without driving yourself mad or bankrupt. Don’t fall victim to the marketing sorcery. Don’t buy this wonderfully green, perfectly proportioned, V8 powered fine piece of British motoring history. Just don’t. DON’T MAN!

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